so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
