i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
