it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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