we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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