Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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