i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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