So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
