you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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