I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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