Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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