Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
