Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
