Where is the hickey?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
