Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize