But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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