either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
