What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize