At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
