so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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