the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize