You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I intend to get homeless drunk
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
