I'm lost and stupid without you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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