i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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