Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
