she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
