so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He shit in the fireplace
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