people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
