I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
