your parents love me but you hate me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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