wrigley field is MILF paradise
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
