I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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