my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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