There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
