matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
