some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
