I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
handjob tips. give me some.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
