I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
