But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
