Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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