Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
