We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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