Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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