I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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