so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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