Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
