Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
