I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
