Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
