Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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