There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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