i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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