I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
