I CAN MOONWALK!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize