He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
