I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
