Princesses don't give blow jobs
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
