normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
