Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
