would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
