Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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