let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
