Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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