It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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