The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
