Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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