porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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