whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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