distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
