So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
