It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
