Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
