O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize