oh god the rape fog is back!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I believe in your delicious
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
