TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
