I'm jealous of your bromance
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
