Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
