I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
